Captivating

Here I am! Early-twenties and still chasing the same dreams I had when I was still pretending to be Tommy from power rangers. However, I came to a realization that no one ever told my story. Jesus got a story, hell even the Korean lady who got her seat jacked on the bus got a story told about her. At least I think she is Korean, I am just going by the last name here and all the people I know who has "Park" as a last name is Korean. Anyway, I feel it is my turn to get a story and since no one else is doing it, I feel obligated to do so.

So where do we start? I am not even sure to be honest. I feel like I have so much on my mind right now that even a pensieve (for all you harry potter fans out there) can't even hold the shear amount of memories and in turn, the stories I have for you. Luckily for you there is a part of me that wants to tell a story so embarrassing that it took me about a decade to go public with it so lets just get it out of the way.

I am sure you've told your friends about that one period in your life where you looked completely like an awkward turtle. Your hairstyle was disgusting, your sense of style atrocious, and your face... oh god your face. Let me tell you something though, that period in your life is nothing compared to what I had to endure. For me the awkward phase lasted around 10 years, from when I was eight until I was a little over eighteen. Basically half of my life.


Before we begin, there is something you need to know about me though. Throughout the entirety of that phase, I was happy. I believed and was confident that I was on attractive side as far as looks are concerned. 

Take for instance me now:

Yeah, the posture is kind of rigid but if there is enough alcohol and the lights are dimmed, I can probably pass for a D-list Asian actor.

Moving on, like I said I was happy throughout my life. So imagine how you would react, if you were me, when you heard that one of your friend's mom said that you look border-line retarded. 

I mean that is absurd right? Just look at my face. 

Tragically though, as hard as I tried to forget those spoken words, it was never forgotten. 

I can only recall little moments from that day. I remember my pictures from a ski trip were passed  around and I was just caught in the middle of all of the discussion.

Lucky me. 

Even more fortunate was the fact that I stumbled upon these pictures years later and let me sincerely tell you guys... I look like a fucking retard.

Let me try to save some face before everything gets real by saying that I was wearing my dad's winter gear because I stupidly forgot to pack a coat and some gloves on a ski-trip. I would like to add that I have a very small frame and his stuff were literally hanging on my bones. Also to make sure that you don't laugh at anyone else but me, Patrick is on the left of this photo and he does have Down's Syndrome. To your far right is your target, your beloved, and the person you will no longer take seriously after this post.

...

Honestly, I don't know what more I can say. I want to blame it on the sun and the glare it created on my thick glasses but that does not explain the face whatsoever. I do hope you realize from this point on that you can never tell me that you looked horrible when you were 12. 

... Maybe one day I will show you my middle school yearbook pictures.